valenzia
1. doing a valenzia is an act of purely legendarical proportions. a valenzia is the act of one man banging his partner whilst she is either; cleaning their apartment or accomodation; cooking a meal or snack; or washing and subsequently ironing her man’s clothes. the man who commits this glorious act is also referred to as a ‘valenzia’, but can also be know as a ‘thunderchucker’, because he partakes in the act of a thunderchuck. often a valenzia will be ridiculously well hung, and his overstaffing in the trouser department often leads to poor posture and back problems in later life.
2. the alternate public act of doing a valenzia is different to the previous definition, as it is inappropriate to bang your girlfriend in public whilst she cooks or cleans or irons. this definition of a valenzia refers to the act of dancing naked, with a duck tape covered p-n-s, in harrods or less commonly selfridges. often done to the ‘cha cha slide’, but also not uncommonly danced to the ‘surfin bird’ song, or ‘carry on wayward son’ by kansas.
1. “hey, i heard simon got some action last night.”
“yeah, but his apartment is so clean, where did he bang his chick- in the oven?”
“my friend you are suprisingly close with that guess, have you not heard of doing a valenzia?”
“no, dude, please inform me of what can only be a wonderous act!”
“well judging from the s-m-n stains upon the iron board, i would surmise that simon f-cked stacey whilst she pressed his shirts.”
“nice.”
2. “wow that dude’s w-lly is bare small!”
“yeah if you’re going to do a valenzia in harrod’s, don’t do it in the refriderated section where it shrinks to the size of a cole.”
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