vodka

a drink which makes you strong and clever.
“this vodka tastes piquant, ambrosial, nactareous and divine. i will now go lift some weights.”
vodka is a clear, colorless, unaged liquor “made from ethyl alcohol from agricultural origin”. it was originally made in russia from potatoes, but today’s vodka, which is almost odorless and tasteless, is usually made from grain, primarily barley and wheat, and occationally from rye.

vodka is integral to many c-cktails such as the screwdriver, bl–dy mary and vodka martini. if served straight, it should always be icy-cold.

flavored vodkas have become popular in the united states and may be flavored with anything from fruits to hot peppers. some flavored vodkas are even sweetened slightly.

what you put in water bottles and bring to school.
vodka’s better at school
low cost and effective engine fuel, industrial solvent and poison. some people also like to drink the stuff.
back in wwii, we in the red army used vodka to run our tanks. why vodka? we were to p-ssed to work out how to refine oil, of course.
as a russian who is experienced in the art of vodka consumption i feel obligated to provide the following information about vodka drinking.
a) vodka should never ever under any circ-mstances be bought in a plastic bottle
b) vodka should never be served ice-cold or even moderately could when straight. but!!!!! the shoot gl-ss should be ice cold.
c) just because you have a carton of tropicana and a bottle of smirnoff doesn’t mean you can make a screwdriver. screwdrivers never have any plump in them
d) when drinking vodka never sip it, or drink it slowly! this way of drinking vodka leads to loss of taste buds and a reeking smell.
e) before taking a shot of vodka cheers must be said, then let out all the air you have in your lungs, drink and inhale at the same time.
f) never ever chase vodka wth bear
g) a good tactic for not getting sick while drinking vodka, is to supplement it with soda and some snacks.
h) drinking vodka together with bear and champagne leads to short term memory loss.

facts
vodka a 40% alcoholic drink. in theory it can be made out of anything, even wood or marijuana. the solution to this magnificent drink is extremely simple: a 2/5 ratio of alcohol and water. non-m-ss produced vodka, which is available in most of europe and russia, is an expensive high quality drink, which went through as many as 8 stages of filtration and sold for more that 100$ a bottle.
rarely it is mixed in to c-cktails, such as vodka martini and the screw driver.
in the united states only commercial, m-ss produced vodka is available and has a number of flaws. a) it is not made in russia, even if it is called smirnoff of stolichnaya, but new jersey or in the best case scenario sweden.
best brand of vodka are: veda and beluga black, these two brands made stoli and absolute look like absolute sh-t!
please drink responsibly and enjoy.
example a
guy1: so how was last night?
guy2: man i meat this banging chick and after a couple shoots she was all over me

example b
girl1: so how was last night?
girl2: (gives a 1/2 hour answer which in summary is someting like this) this guy gave disgusting cheap vodka from a plastic bottle and the next thing i know is that in the same bed with that pig.
quite strong alocolic liquid (40-60%).
not brewed, like wine, so it doesn`t taste like yeast. what most people will use to get sh-tfaced. to avoid death, it is adviced to mix the vodka with a non-alcohol liquid.
with a 0,7 liter bottle of absolut vodka in his bag , jeff was gonna get sh-tfaced tonight. for his own safety he bought a 1,5 liter c-ke for mixing. jeff would not get laid tonight, but he shure would get p-ssed beyond the invisible.
unfortunately it has become a pop culture joke. most popular vodkas (smirnoff, absolut) are absolut sh-t and made in sweden or finland or something. real and good vodka must be made in a slavic country. there is an ongoing argument with poland and russia over who created the drink. there is more evidence that says poland coined the term vodka(wódka) for it and first started m-ss consumption of it. however, it was most likely created by persians or arabs. slavic and also celtic people have the highest alcohol tolerances.
good vodka includes: zubrowka(the best), wyborowa, luksosowa and bols.

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