Webbitis
a rare form of scivitis, which can strike you at any time. this disease has no known warning signs, symptoms or cure. it can render the victim unable to work for extended periods of time, but make seemingly miraculous recoveries, only to be stricken down again without warning.
the victim will be unable to communicate through standard means (such as speech) and will revert to primitive writings, usually communicated through text messages.
named after the first know case, ‘webb’itis has been one of the biggest causes of lost man hours at work over the last few years.
if you ever find out one of your colleagues has this condition, the only way to resolve this problem is a bullet. preferably in the head (of the victim, or yourself – whatever is easier)
”hey wheres nathan today?”
”i’m not sure, i got a txt message saying ‘sry nt in tdy’, whatever the f-ck that means?…’
”ah cr-p, sounds like webbitis, ill get my gun…”
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