whorebird

scientific name:

wh-r-vus sucspeniousferdollous

a pesky bird usually found in its natural habitat of trailer parks, road side casinos and meth labs. noted for its unusual plumage, this bird is easily recognized by crispy, blonde tufts at the crown of its head and 2 large swollen chest glands on full display during a perpetual mating season that never ends. this common bird is also well known for the scent it begins to emit usually after the 34th or 35th anniversary of its hatching. the scent is a unique blend of desperation with noticeable hints of jealousy and the sickly sweet scent of shame.

known for trying to raise its pecking order by fornicating with the mates of other birds, this bird is usually found alone. she may adjust her plummage and join a flock for a short time, but eventually, her true colors will show, and the other females will beat the ever living sh-t out of her and send her pack to the filthy trailer park of which she crawled out.
“if that wh-r-bird, samantha, keeps crawling all over that married man, she’s gonna catch a beating all the way back to the trailer park!