wizard’s beard

1. a man’s beard consisting of the softest, fluffiest and whitest human hairs imaginable. usually found on an elderly man’s chin. softer than a hamster. requires of you to feel the hairs in a friendly way. in fantasy settings usually only wizards have these types of beards, hence the name. chinese people can grow these kinds of beards too, although the chin hairs grow 256x faster than the cheeks or sideburns. incredibly rare in atheist and to a lesser extent rare in christian parts of the world. other religions are more beard-friendly resulting in a greater chance of finding a man with a wizard’s beard.

2. can also refer to an incredibly bushy amount of pubic hairs. you can also find crotch crickets here on occasion.
1. fu manchu has such a nice wizard’s beard. i just want to run my fingers through it and cuddle him.
1. saruman ii was cuddled and hugged by ivan v in imperial russia and his wizard’s beard was felt.

2. last night my schl-ng got tangled in roxanne’s wizard’s beard.
2. y-ssin’s wizard’s beard has too much s-m-n dried up in it. he should wash it or else he’ll have crabs.
the creamy discharge left behind in a guys pubic hair after s-x with a female.
after i pulled out, i looked down at my crotch and saw she had given me a wizard’s beard.

time to shave your b-lls babe, cause i just gave you a crazy wizard’s beard!
n. also gandalf’s beard. a very hairy meat pie, where the lips appear to continue down the legs a lot further than normal due to copious amounts of hair.
“it took me ages to reach the beef curtains; i had to wrestle with her wizard’s beard first”