woman cold

a debilitating illness of mucous and congestion and pain that confines a woman to the house with no possibility of work or school followed by a rapid surge of recovery when it is time to go shopping or go out for c-cktails. ‘woman colds’ tend to be intense, but brief, as they are immediately relieved upon happy hour.

the specific cause of the ‘woman cold’ is unknown, but it is generally the fault of the nearest man.

the illness tends to confound and baffle other men seeking a cure or treatment.

synonyms: selective illness, selective symptoms

antonyms: flu, pneumonia
when developed a particularly nasty woman cold, she had to stay home from work and cancel her morning conference call and her pilates cl-ss. she declined the medicine that her fiancee offered so she would not feel drowsy. after sniffling and coughing throughout the morning, she experienced a remarkable improvement when her girlfriend invited her to help her shop for shoes, and she was able to go to the mall that afternoon.

suffered a bad sore throat and clammy skin when she developed a woman cold, and she could not deliver the financial report for her office and the essay for her continuing education cl-ss. she suspected that the illness was related to the dessert spoon that she shared with her husband, but she gave no complaints. she valiantly struggled to fold the laundry and clean the dishes while soothing herself with hot tea. she needed her husband to take the kids to daycare and pick them up, but she refused his offer to take her to the doctor. her symptoms quickly subsided when her coworkers scheduled a wine-tasting at the end of the day and she felt strong enough to attend the event.