wood elf

a race in the elder scrolls video game series.

the bosmer are the various barbarian elven clan-folk of the western valenwood forests. in the empire, they are collectively referred to as “wood elves,” but “bosmer”, or “the tree-sap people”, is what they call themselves. “tree-sap” suggests the wild vitality and youthful energy of wood elves, in contrast with their more dour cousins, the altmer and dunmer. bosmer reject the stiff, formal traditions of aldmeri high culture, preferring a romantic, simple existence in harmony with the land, its wild beauty and wild creatures. these country cousins of the high elves and dark elves are nimble and quick in body and wit, and because of their curious natures and natural agility, bosmer are especially suitable as scouts, and thieves. but most of all, the bosmer are known for their skills with bows; there are no finer archers in all of tamriel. their ability to command simple-minded creatures is also well known. they are also religiously carnivorous and cannibalistic, but do not destroy trees or plant life, though they are not averse to using wooden or plant-derived products created by others.

the elves of valenwood have always been involved in political arguments between the other races of tamriel, but have never waged war with other nations, only defended their lands countless times, from the khajiits of elsweyr and the high elves of the summerset isle.

they have never been truly allied with other nations because of mistrust and their own beliefs and traditions.
the nimble wood elf is strongly suited for a thief character, an alchemist, a woodsman, bandit, or something to that effect.
a wood-elf, in its natural environment, is found on a golf course. when teeing up his/her golf shot the wood-elf is known to swing violently at a golf ball resulting in either an extreme slice or hook. generally, the resultant shot will end in the nearest wooded area. the wood-elf will then disappear, into said wooded area, and later emerg, magically, with many golf b-lls as if he or she was a leprechaun holding a pot of gold. the wood-elf is a formidable golfing opponent where regardless of the amount of b-lls launched into the woods his/her score will often result in either a par, birdie and on rare occasions an eagle. the wood-elf is quick-witted and at times charming but resist the temptation to play the wood-elf for money. you will lose.

known celebrity wood-elf: andy d-ck
when scoring at the end of the hole a conversation may be as follows:

you: “hey wood-elf, what did you end up with?”

wood-elf: “par”

you: “how many times did you hit your ball into the woods?”

wood-elf: “two or three times.”

you: “wow that’s amazing, how on earth did you end up with a par?”

wood-elf: “a wood-elf never reveals his secrets.”