World War 1

let me put this in terms a teenager can understand

archduke franz ferdinand was in sarajevo and gavrilo princop popped a cap in his -ss

austria-hungary got p-ssed off and asked germany for help who gave them a “do whatever the f-ck you want” or a blank check. austria-hungary finally asked serbia to stop all anti austria-hungary activities and let them investigate the murder themselves. serbia said f-ck no and then austria-hungary declared war

because russia was an allie of serbia it began mobilization (preparing for war) and germany didn’t like this so they said “back the f-ck up” to which russia said no so germany declared war on russia and for no apparent reason whatsoever (just to be -ssholes i suppose) declared war on france. the declaration of war by germany on france p-ssed off the english so england declared war on germany

so basically they’re all fighting when one day germany shot a torpedo and sunk the lusitania. the united states put their foot down and decided enough is enough and they were going to enter the war.

the germans sh-t their pants and i can’t remember what happened next but that’s how it started
cl-ss, today we’re learning about world war 1
war started when archduke franz ferdinand of austria, was -ss-ssinated. because of the alliances at the time it caused a full fledged world war. there was the central powers – germany, austria-hungary, and ottoman empire. then there was the entente powers – great brittan, france, italy, j-pan, russia, and america.

the war used a trench war-fare combat system. just a bunch of holes in the ground that you can hide in and shot you bolt-action rifle out of. the war suffered many casualty’s because trench war-fare is not a good type of combat. the commander would just throw soldiers out of the trench to run miles to the enemy trench and use their rifles and bayonet’s to try and take it over. during the war there was a new weapon used called the flame-throw mostly used by german storm troopers. also the germans used another new weapon called the u-boat or the submarine.

close to the end of the war the russian people had overthrown the government and installed a new communist government. also they surrendered to the central powers.

the war ended with the treaty of versailles. it did not give enough land to italy or j-pan, which angered the people which is why they joined the axis during ww2. the treaty smashed the german economy also enraging the people and causing them to hand the government to a man who promised to fix it all hitler.

this war was a real cl-ster f-ck, and took many lives away from people for no reason.
world war 1 was a horrible and stupid war.
the war before world war 2. nothing else related this is well known.
woman: what happened in world war 1?
man: i have no f-cking clue.
a british tradition…not american! av it:
prehistoric and cl-ssical period
roman conquest of britain (43)
boudica’s uprising (61)
battle of watling street

edit mediæval period
battle of aylesford (455) anglo-saxons
battle of ellandun
viking invasions (793–1066)
raid on lindisfarne (793)
campaign of alfred the great (871–899)
battle of edington (878)
battle of cannington (878)
battle of ashingdon (1016)
battle of fulford (1066)
battle of stamford bridge (1066)
norman conquest of england (1066)
the battle of hastings 1066
rebellion of 1088 – civil war
the anarchy (1135–1154) – civil war
revolt of 1173-1174 – civil war
third crusade (1189-1192)
richard i’s war in france
welsh uprising of 1211
battle of bouvines (1214) – loss of normandy
first barons’ war (1215–1217) – civil war
henry iii’s war in france
second barons’ war (1264–1267) – civil war
welsh uprising (1282) – civil war
edward i’s war in france
the first war of scottish independence (1296–1328)
edward ii’s war in france
the second war of scottish independence (1332–1357)
hundred years’ war (1337 to 1453) against france
war of edward iii (1337 to 1360) – victory
war of charles the wise (1369 to 1396) – defeat
war of henry v (1415 to 1422) – victory
war of charles the victorious (1428 to 1453) – defeat
wars of the roses (1455–1485) – richard iii was the last english king to die in combat – civil war

edit early modern period
italian wars (1494 – 1559)
war of the league of cambrai (1511-1513)
italian war of 1521 (1521-1525)
italian war of 1542 (1542-1546)
italian war of 1551 (1557-1559)
cornish rebellion (1497)
anglo-scottish wars (1513; 1544-1551)
loss of calais (1558) – then england’s last continental possession
anglo-spanish war (1585-1604)
nine years war (1594–1603)
eighty years’ war (1598–1648)
first anglo-powhatan war (1609–1613) – north america
second anglo-powhatan war (1622) – north america
anglo-spanish war (1625-1630) (as a small part of the thirty years’ war)
anglo-french war (1626-1629)
wars of the three kingdoms (1639–1651) – civil war
first bishops’ war (1639)
second bishops’ war (1640)
irish rebellion (1641)
the confederate’s war (1642-1648)
english civil war (1642–1651)
first english civil war (1642–1646)
civil war in scotland (1644–1647)
second english civil war (1648)
cromwellian conquest of ireland (1649)
third english civil war (1650–1651)
third anglo-powhatan war (1644) – north america
first anglo-dutch war (1652–1654)
anglo-spanish war (1654–1660)
second anglo-dutch war (1665–1667)
war of devolution (1667–1668)
third anglo-dutch war (1672–1674)
king philip’s war (1675–1676) – north america
virginia rebellion (1676)
monmouth rebellion (1685) – civil war
nine years war (1688–1697) – england, spain, germany, portugal and holland v france
king william’s war (1688–1697) – north america
jacobite rebellions (1689-91; 1715-16; 1719; 1745-46) – civil war
williamite war in ireland (1688–1691)
battle of the boyne (1690) – last battle between two rival claimants for the throne
clifton moor skirmish, near penrith (1745) – last battle on english soil
battle of culloden (1746) – last battle in great britain
war of the spanish succession (1702–1713) – great britain, germany, portugal and holland v france and spain
queen anne’s war (1702–1713)
war of the quadruple alliance (1718–1720) – great britain, france, austria and holland v italy and spain
war of jenkins’ ear (1739–1742) – great britain v spain
war of the austrian succession (1742–1748) – great britain, austria and holland v france and germany
king george’s war (1744–1748)
seven years’ war (1756–1763) – the first “world war”
french and indian war (1754–1763) – great britain and germany v austria, france, russia, sweden, spain and portugal
anglo-cherokee war (1759–1763) – north america
pontiac’s rebellion (1763–1766) – north america
first anglo-mysore war (1766–1769) – india
american war of independence (1775–1783) – north america
first anglo-maratha war (1775–1782) – india
fourth anglo-dutch war (1780–1784)
second anglo-mysore war (1780–1784) – india
third anglo-mysore war (1789–1792) – india

edit 19th century
french revolutionary wars (1793–1802) – great britain, austria, spain, russia, germany v france
war of the first coalition (1793–1797)
war of the second coalition (1798–1801)
fourth anglo-mysore war (1798–1799) – india
irish rebellion (1798)
napoleonic wars (1803–1815) – united kingdom, prussia, austria, sweden, spain and russia v france
south american war (1806–1807)
anglo-turkish war (1807–1809)
anglo-russian war (1807–1812)
gunboat war (1807–1814)
peninsular war (1808–1814)
hundred days (1815)
first kandian war (1803–1804) – india
second anglo-maratha war (1803–1805) – india
vellore mutiny (1806) – india
anglo-dutch java war (1810–1811)
war of 1812 (1812–1815)
anglo-nepalese war (1814–1816)
second kandian war (1815) – india
third anglo-maratha war (1817–1818) – india
first anglo-burmese war (1823–1826)
upper canada rebellion (1837)
lower canada rebellion (1837)
first anglo-afghan war (1839–1842)
battle of ghazni
first opium war (1839–1842) – united kingdom v china
first anglo-sikh war (1845–1846) – india
new zealand wars (1845–1872)
second anglo-sikh war (1848–1849) – india
second anglo-burmese war (1852)
crimean war (1854–1856) – united kingdom, france, turkey, and piedmont-sardinia v russia
second opium war (1856–1860) – united kingdom and france v china
anglo-persian war (1856–1857) – united kingdom and persia
indian rebellion (1857)
pig war (1859) – united kingdom v usa
anglo-bhutanese war (1865)
second anglo-afghan war (1878-1880)
anglo-zulu war (1879)
first boer war (1880–1881)
gun war (1880–1881)
mahdist war (1881–1899)
third anglo-burmese war (1885–1887)
anglo-zanzibar war (1896)
second boer war (1899–1902)

edit 20th century
boxer rebellion (1900) – united kingdom, austria-hungary, france, germany, italy, j-pan, russia, usa, and china
anglo-aro war (1901-1902) – nigeria
world war i (1914–1918) – united kingdom, france, belgium, serbia, italy, russia, united states, germany, austria-hungary, bulgaria and turkey
easter rising (1916) – ireland
russian civil war (1918–1922)
third anglo-afghan war (1919)
anglo-irish war (1919–1921)
world war ii (1939–1945)
the pacific war (1937–1945) united kingdom, usa and china v j-pan
anglo-iraqi war (1941)
greek civil war (1941–1949)
malayan emergency (1948–1960)
korean war (1950–1953)
mau mau uprising (1952–1960)
cyprus emergency (1955–1959)
suez crisis (1956)
brunei revolt (1962)
indonesia-malaysia confrontation (1962–1966)
aden emergency (1963–1967)
northern ireland troubles (1969-mid 1990s)
cod war confrontation (1975–1976)
falklands war (1982)
the first gulf war (1990–1991)
the bosnian war (1995–1996)
the kosovo war (1999)

edit 21st century
sierra leone civil war (2000)
the afghanistan war (2001–present)
iraq war and iraqi insurgency (2003–present)

edit list of civil wars
rebellion of 1088 – in england and normandy
the anarchy (1135–1154) – in england
revolt of 1173-1174 – in england, normandy, and anjou
first barons’ war (1215–1217) – in england
second barons’ war (1264–1267) – in england
welsh uprising (1282) – in england and wales
wars of the roses (1455–1485) – in england and wales; richard iii was the last english king to die in combat
wars of the three kingdoms (1639–1651) – in england, wales, scotland and ireland
first bishops’ war (1639)
second bishops’ war (1640)
irish rebellion (1641)
first english civil war (1642–1646)
the confederate’s war (1642-1648)
scotland in the wars of the three kingdoms (1644–1647)
second english civil war (1648)
third english civil war (1650–1651)
cromwellian conquest of ireland (1649)
monmouth rebellion (1685) – in england
jacobite rebellions (1689-91; 1715-16; 1719; 1745-46) – in england, scotland and ireland
williamite war in ireland (1688–1691)
battle of the boyne (1690) – last battle between two rival claimants for the throne
clifton moor, near penrith (1745) – last land battle on english soil
battle of culloden (1746) – last land battle in great britain
american revolutionary war (1775–1783) – effectively civil war with loyalists fighting revolutionaries

britain has had more wars then youv had sh-ts
world war 1