world war ii

a war that was started by n-z- germany and, for a while was, winning. but after stalingrad, they got f-cked up pretty bad
lets just hope world war iii doesn’t start
germany invades czechoslovakia.
britain & france tell them to stop that bullsh-t.
germany invades poland.
(russia also invades poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
britain & france declare war. this is the ‘official’ kick-off.
italy, bulgaria, hungary, & romania all join the german side. (everybody forgets the last three.)
axis forces go through europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
n-z-s exterminate jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
uk holds out.
russia & the usa don’t do sh-t.
entire divisions of danish, belgian, dutch, norwegian, french & serbian volunteers join the axis armies & ss. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the f-cking resistance, which must have been m-ssive.)
axis forces invade russia. suddenly the russians don’t think it’s funny any more.
j-pan joins the axis & bombs pearl harbor.
suddenly the us doesn’t think it’s funny any more.
the usa tools up the world, ’cause it’s got more factories than everybody else put together, & they’re out of bomber range.
axis runs out of steam in russia, cause russia’s enormous & bl–dy freezing.
allies invade on d-day… 5 landings: 2 british, 2 american, 1 canadian. (everybody forgets the canadians.)
hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. seriously.
the us decides invading stuff is a pain in the -ss and invents the atom bomb instead. drops two buckets ‘o sunshine on j-pan.
russians steal half of europe.
uk’s spent almost every penny it had.
us starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.
“some of the world war ii guys in ‘call of duty’ have, like, foreign accents… what’s up with that?”
one of the few sequels that surp-ssed the original.
we have, ironically, world war ii to thank for ending the depression.
according to the protagonist in kurt vonnegut’s “timequake”:

“…the world’s second unsucessful attempt to commit suicide.”
a j-panese anti-tank mine in world war ii? a 1000kg bomb placed in a hole in the road with a j-panese soldier wielding a hammer.
allies vs axis, started mostly by fascist imperialism on the part of the axis powers. during the war, germany at its peak had taken over most of europe, j-pan had taken most of the pacific island nations, and italy had taken most of northern africa. ended in 1945. perhaps the most significant event of the 20th century, and this dictionary can’t possibly begin to cover all of it. see also: every show on the history channel.
thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, “what did you do in the great world war two?” — you won’t have to say, “well, i shoveled sh-t in louisiana.”
— general george patton
a war in which over 56 million lives were snubbed out and people like to debate about who made the biggest contribution in winning against the axis powers.
1939 – 1945 not 1937.

country men in war battle deaths wounded
australia 1,000,000 26,976 180,864
austria 800,000 280,000 350,117
belgium 625,000 8,460 55,5131
brazil2 40,334 943 4,222
bulgaria 339,760 6,671 21,878
canada 1,086,3437 42,0427 53,145
china3 17,250,521 1,324,516 1,762,006
czechoslovakia — 6,6834 8,017
denmark — 4,339 —
finland 500,000 79,047 50,000
france — 201,568 400,000
germany 20,000,000 3,250,0004 7,250,000
greece — 17,024 47,290
hungary — 147,435 89,313
india 2,393,891 32,121 64,354
italy 3,100,000 149,4964 66,716
j-pan 9,700,000 1,270,000 140,000
netherlands 280,000 6,500 2,860
new zealand 194,000 11,6254 17,000
norway 75,000 2,000 —
poland — 664,000 530,000
romania 650,0005 350,0006 —
south africa 410,056 2,473 —
u.s.s.r. — 6,115,0004 14,012,000
united kingdom 5,896,000 357,1164 369,267
united states 16,112,566 291,557 670,846
yugoslavia 3,741,000 305,000 425,000

all of the above except for the axis powers contributed to the end of the war and none should have there bravery taken away by overpatriotic fools.
to all our glorious dead. lest we forget
world war ii was won by all contributing nations.
briefly: a war in which aproximately 12 million allied soldiers and 33 million civilians lost their lives defending the freedoms many now take for granted.
had the allies not defeated the axis powers in world war ii there would be no urban dictionary.
this covers the lead up to war and the war:

j-pan invades manchuria and aims to take the rest of china under the first two stages of the tanaka memorial (this starts the second sino-j-panese war), hitler becomes chancellor, hinderburg dies-hitler becomes fuhrer, readies to invade austria, but mussolini mobilises and readies to go to war with hitler if he invades (not many people know this), anglo-german naval agreement, britain allows h-tler to build the kriegsmarine to 35% the total tonnage of the royal navy, mussolini invades ethiopia, and hitler invades the rhineland at the aame time, spanish civil war, condor legion of germany and the aviazione legionaria of italy help the spanish nationalists (in fact germany and italy were testing their militaries), italy, j-pan and german sigh a few treaties creating the axis powers, mussolini lets h-tler take austria this time (the austrian people wanted anschluss, but the voters are kept under close observation by german soldiers), czechoslavkia, britain and france tell hitler to stop it, hitler agrees but invades the rest six months later, hitler invades poland, angering britain (britain and poland had a treaty), britain gives h-tler and ultimatum, hitler ignores it, britain goes to war, france goes to war, britain bombs german warships on the kiel c-n-l (not many people know this), soviets invade eastern poland and sign the russo-german non-agression pact, russian invades finland for no reason (the winter war), russia condemned, russia thrown out of league of nations, britain and france plan to send 100,000 and 50,000 men to finland respectivly, norway and sweden don’t allow this, britain, france and america send planes to finland, finland overwhelmed, russia takes parts of finland, hitler turns west, defeats norway, denmark, netherlands, belgium, luxembourg and france, dunkirk, battle of britain, british defend their nation, british bomb berlin, hitler gets mad and flattens coventy which kills thousands of innocent civilians, hitler turns east again,british swordfish attack german warships at petsamo and lose three aircraft it is meant to show support to the soviet allies, finland joins h-tler to try to get back areas of land lost to russia (the continuation war), germany invades russia, britain declares war on finland, hurricanes of no. 151 wing raf provide air cover to soviet troops, hitler stopped at the gates of moscow, j-pan, tired of america’s embargoes bombs pearl harbour, america declares war on germany, italy and j-pan,j-panese sink force z, us and filipino troops fight at the battle of bataan, the day after manila is captured by the j-panese, five days after that the siege of bataan begins, three days after that the last german raid on liverpool destroys the home of hitler’s nephew (lol), the day after j-pan declares war on the netherlands and the netherlands east indies, j-panese capture kuala lumpur, j-panese forces invade burma, the battle of rabual begins, thailand declares war the us and the uk, d. roosevelt interns j-panese americans and seizes their property, j-panese take singapore (it was actually in a bluff as the j-panese were running out of ammo as they were finding it difficult getting it through the jungles), j-panese attack darwin, doolite raid the first raid on tokyo, operation anthropoid (czech paratroopers attempt to -ssasinate reinhard heydrich), j-panese subs infiltrate sydney harbour, axis forces capture tobruk and a j-panese fires upon fort stevens, oregon the same day, battle of coral sea and midway,americans take guadalc-n-l ,operation torch allied forces land in north africa, afrika core defeated, allies take sicily and invade italy, mussolini defeated, d-day, continuation war ends and finland helps britain and russia expel german soldiers in finland (the lapland war) and germans employ scorched earth on the whole of northern finland as they retreat to norway, allies in france head east, all allies attack berlin, air-raids are becoming normal, german jet-fighters cause pain to b-17’s and lancaster’s, in april the last germans are expelled from finland, ending the lapland war, the allies take berlin and hitler commits suicide, okinawa, allies re-take burma and atomic bombs are dropped on hiroshima and nagasaki, end of wwii, not long after american and russian relations take a nose-dive and the cold war begins, the world enters the nuclear age, all forms of n-z-sm are outlawed in germany.
world war ii killed millions