Xbox Customer Support

microsoft’s attempt at customer service for their highly acclaimed xbox and xbox 360 consoles. it mainly consists of mexicans, indians (like dirka-dirka indians, not buffalo and casino indians), and occasionally the very helpful white guy. but that’s if you’re lucky. don’t be surprised if you get p-ssed with your “supporter” and he forwards you to the head supervisor. which in the end is another sh-tty-speaking mexican or an indian who’s name is baka-bakalaka dirka mohammed jihad, or jose. in the end, sh-t is either resolved due to a simple fix, or turns into a cl-ster-f-ck of annoyance and frustration with one of the biggest electronic producing companies in the world. also known as microsh-t. and don’t expect them to actually do anything when big problems occur. they’ll call you back in a couple of days and say “i am sorry sir/ma’am, there is nothing we can do dirka dirka dirka.
xbox customer support representative- (cheap indian accent) ello my name is baka-bakalaka dirka mohammed jihad, may i get your first and last name?

xbox gamer in distress- yeah, it’s, get me another f-cking representative or i’ll rip that red dot off your forehead.

xbox customer support representative- ok sir one moment. i’ll forward you to my supervisor, jose pablo.

xbox gamer in distress-… dial tone …
xbox customer support is the customer “help” line for microsoft’s xbox and xbox 360.

it consists of these steps:

1. you listen to 4 minutes of a worthless automated talking machine until you finally get asked a question. at which point you reply to said question only to have this machine not understand your perfect english. after 3 minutes of constant saying the word in different tones and volumes you finally get to the next automated question.
2. repeat step 1 for 3 more questions.
3. get put on hold for 5 minutes. (while on hold you have to listen to the most annoying, loudest, cr-ppiest quality songs that microsoft could have possibly found on the internet.
4. you give a lot of information to the customer service rep.
5. they ask you to repeat all of it.
6. you realize they do not speak english and are in fact from india.
7. you try to explain your problem about the disk drive not reading disks
8. he offers his advice by asking if you have plugged the component cables into your tv.
9. you get a migraine.
10. you hang up the phone.
11. www.google.com
guy 1: dude my xbox’s usb ports don’t work anymore, what do i do?

guy 2: have you called xbox customer support?

guy 3: what? that half–ssed, sorry excuse for a help line that i have ever had the misfortune of having to deal with!? call my cousin, he can fix it.
1: a pain in the -ss system for trying to fix a problem but just leads to more sh-t wrong with your system then before.

2: a secret underground tunnel full of indians (not feather indians, dot head indians), and mexicans that do not know what the h-ll they are doing and google your question as you ask it.
guy 1: my xbox sounds like it is fixing to explode because the fan sounds like a helicopter.
guy 2: have you called xbox customer support?
guy 1: are you f-cking high!??!?! i called and they said there should be a slight noise coming from the fan. they can’t get it through there head that it is loud enough to wake up my neighbors.

dude 1: i got the red ring of death!!!!
dude 2: did you call xbox customer support.
dude 1: yeah. they don’t know what the f-ck they are doing. they said it should be green not red, and i could have swore he was googling p-rn in the background.
a horrible group of lying indian misfits. they feast off of your misery, and like to ban you for no reason whatsoever. they also speak in broken english, so next time you call them, ask for a person who speaks english as a native language.
man 1: i can’t sign in to xbox live!!
man 2: maybe you should call xbox customer support!
man 1: no way, i can’t take that bullsh-t any more.