Yelper
a specific type of douchebag who is uniformly narcissistic with a clear sense of superiority over other individuals because they frequently post reviews on the website yelp. despite the fact that these people have no specific qualifications or credentials, they believe themselves of a higher authority on the level of the cesars of rome, able to determine the fate of a restaurant, coffee house, or bar in the same fashion as a defeated gladiators’ fate was chosen in ancient rome.
these individuals can be easily spotted out in public as overweight single females or h-m-s-xual males taking pictures of their food at restaurants with their cell phones as soon as it is served. they can also be spotted as they snap pictures of hotel lobbies and hallways. the only demographic who appreciates yelpers are j-panese tourists, who are no longer the stereotype taking more senseless pictures of stupid sh-t than anyone else.
yelpers are in general whiny, annoying, high-maintenance individuals who expect to have their -sses kissed everywhere they go because of their yelp status (duke, d-ch-ss, whatever the f-ck).
(waiter, to his manager) see those frumpy, fat chicks over there at table 3? they are driving me crazy whining about sh-t and now they are taking pictures of their salads with their phones.
(manager) must be yelpers. give their fat -sses free dessert, or they will give us bad reviews.
(waiter) f-ck them.
those who write reviews, read reviews, or otherwise partic-p-te with online review site yelp.com.
1. i’m so glad that the other yelpers like my review of “ex-boyfriends”; otherwise, i would not be rated funny, cool, or useful.
2. if it weren’t for those yelpers telling everyone that we’ve got the smoothest pastry cream fillings, i’m not sure we’d still be in business.
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