Yorkshire Terrier

a small dog that resembles a toupee with legs. its fur looks like something you would pull out a clogged drain in a bathtub. often owned by overweight single women due to the fact that it doesn’t need as much exercise as most other dogs.

yorkshire terriers are dumb, difficult to house break, and tend to be territorial despite the limitations of their size. they often attack strangers and larger animals, disregarding their own size disadvantage. these behaviors are, however, encouraged by their owners because they see it as being “cute”.

these dogs are probably the best example of artificial selection. they have weak bone structure which causes them to be unable to survive short falls. they also are known to suffer from things like seizure, liver shunt, and collapsed trachea.
normal dog owner: what the h-ll is that mop trying to do to my dog?
yorkshire terrier owner: it’s dominating. isn’t it cute?
normal dog owner: well it’s going to dominate its way into my dog’s stomach if it isn’t careful.

yorkshire terrier owner: help, my dog broke every bone in its body!
vet: what the h-ll happened?
yorkshire terrier owner: it jumped off my foot stool!
you know those skinny small f-ggots which are constantly gobbing off, well there yorkshire terriers, much like the dog itself just yaps on and on and doesn’t do f-ck all.
steve:’look the little ginger yorkshire terrier’ keith:’yeah i know, you just know his dad doesn’t love him.’
edit- a yorkshire terrier is a breed of small, obnoxious, ridiculously loud for its size dog that was bred in yorkshire, england, for hunting rats. they bred these small irritating dogs because the king did not want the citizens to have dogs large enough to hunt the royal deer. so the yorkie was born, a little dog that is unrivaled in being sickeningly cute, to the point where you want to cave its little face in with a blunt instrument.

yorkies have horrible tempers; they will frequently dig their needle-sharp teeth into people for no apparent reason, such as when they sit next to one of these dogs within six feet of them on a different couch. they pick fights with dogs six times their size, which is amusing, especially when a mastiff or something rips it to pieces. yorkies become loyal to one master, and they hate everyone else and will bite complete strangers. i’ve seen it happen, and it happened to me once too.

if you have a yorkie in your house do not try to talk the owner into seeing how much of a little terror the dog is. simply take it outside, tie it up, pull out a shotgun (i would reccommend a 16 gauge or bigger for maximum effect) and blow the little creature all over the pavement, then follow up by burning the remains just to be sure.
-yorkie owner- “oh, mr. phoenix, my dog is such a cutie. see, she just gave your foot a love bite! oh, and another! look at the little darling, she’s playing ‘tug of war’ with your foot! i- oh my, mr. phoenix, i’m sorry, we don’t allow guns in this home, i oh my god, you put my dog down now, don’t you hold it by its neck like that, where are you going with my dog-” –blam–
“oh my god!!!!!”
“oh pipe down, you crusty sn-tch faced mother f-cker, the world’s a better place now.”
yorkshire terriers are the smallest of the terriers, but the smartest and most cunning terrier by far according to most accepted dog iq tests. they are also the second smartest toy, after the french bred papillon. while they look like adorable little teddy bears, be warned that these dogs were bred to kill vermin in yorkshire, england, during the industrial revolution. they are tiny, yet mighty! if you treat them like dogs, they will behave like dogs. much like their larger terrier cousins, they are tenacious, and will hunt and kill vermin of all sizes (my 5 lb monster likes to kill nyc rats twice her size). they are often seen as yappy, frofro little lap dogs, but these are usually your poor bred yorkies whose puppy mill or back yard breeders were more concerned in making a quick buck than keeping them true to their working cl-ss ancestors. they are light sleepers (again, as they were bred as independent hunters), which makes them excellent watch dogs. they are dominant, protective, and territorial, often called little napoleons, they have no idea that they are a small dog. they make excellent companion dogs, and often steal the show at obedience trials, although due to their tiny size, they are not suitable in households with young children. their silky coats (which should only be described as a “gold dog with a steel saddle” as that’s the only color that can currently be registered with the national breed club) require constant grooming, unless you’re lazy like most yorkie owners and chop them short. then they rarely ever shed and have low dander. although no dog is truly hypoallergenic.

they are bright, active, fiesty, athletic, loving and portable little dogs.
a yorkshire terrier was named the most popular mascot of ww2. his story is told in the book “yorkie doodle dandy”
yorkshire terriers are little angels who brighten up your day. they are the love of your life and show you undying attention and love. they are sweet and lovable and make your life unbelievable. those who put down these animals and any other animal is pathetic and lacks character and any sense of worthness. to put down something which cannot defend themselves is not only showing that the person who does it lacks any sense of common respect. people who do so have no life and can only find some enjoyment in putting down something he cannot have. people who own these dogs are from macho men to older women and one who possesses these dogs show great love for animals and those who have big loving hearts. so show respect!!
a yorkshire terrier is the ultimate love of ones life who possesses this animal