you’re family tree lgbt

a world-ending phrase. the universe slows its expansion every time the word is uttered by way of mouth and the dead rise one centimeter from their graves. those that have been cremated will materialize a little bit as well. the sun ages 3 billion years, and all within a radius of the words usage suffer dire consequences. the worst part? feminism gains a whole 6 extra followers every time somebody says “you’re family tree lgbt”. how can there possibly be a worse phrase than this?
the ground quakes, the earth shatters beneath your feet. you’re d-ckhead friend spoke that wretched phrase simply as a joke he saw from a dead meme, for he could not comprehend the consequences. the sky turns a sickly purple as blood pours from black clouds, filling in the rifts from the previous earthquake. a choir with heavy organ and strings decend with heavy-metal flair and deafen all within a 23.5 mile radius. all of the dead members rise from their graves, as well as all the deceased named dave. swarms of daves rise, covered in blood. the seek revenge against your friend. your family twitch and shift and morph into a m-ssive flesh and bone tendril that stretches all the way to ground zero. you can hear nothing, yet you feel the tugging, the urge to rip your friend into three thousand pieces. the daves, you fleshy family amalgam, and yourself descend upon the unwary and the day was rent with the screams of nightmare.

never speak the phrase “you’re family tree lgbt”