yuropbal
a sport played by primitive cultures characterized by the use of a black and white sphere that is continually kicked back and forth between two nets, though never into the nets unless by mistake. a game typically lasts about fourteen hours; or so american explorers who witness the ritual report “that’s what it feels like.”
because it offends the gods, most players are not allowed to touch the sacred sphere with their filthy unwashed hands. two priests who must undergo ritual bathing (normally taboo amongst yuropians) are considered pure enough to touch the ball for the sake of preventing the ball from entering the nets.
spectators typically range anywhere in number from fifty to seven hundred million. as is tradition, the crowd occasionally cheers even though nothing exciting is occurring or will occur.
the napoleonic wars, world war i, and world war ii all originated as escalating riots at yuropbal matches.
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