zarp

zarp: my last name, of polish origin.
robert zarp…that’s my name…it’s not a slang word…what is what up with that?!?

zarp is a polish last name…
a native of the local cheap pool shop known as “talk and walk”. the zarp is common around these parts and can often be fond chatting to a certain boldilox known as b–by bobby.

as talk and walk is like a second (or first?) home to the zarp, it is rumored that in his will he has asked to be buried in the pool table contained within the shop.

when eventually zarp is buried in this table, and someone buys a game of pool and releases the pool b-lls from the bottom, they may find that one of the b-lls is in fact zarp’s eyeball. in this case they should not be alarmed as the real pool ball is stuck in zarp’s eye socket in his skull.

in addition, when you walk past zarp’s real house on your way to a revision session in school, you might find that his whole family come to the door in their pyjamas to call you from the other side of the road to their house. yes, it is fairly weird.
who is that evil talking to b–by?
it must be zarp

where the h-ll is zarp?
there is only one place where he could be – and that place is b–by land i.e. talk and walk.

zarp’s mum:
where is zarp today? he hasn’t come home from school….

zarp’s brother:
don’t worry mum, he is with his pal b–by at b–by’s shop!

zarp’s dad:
oh no! we’re going bankrupt and i don’t know where the money is being spent!

zarp’s brother:
don’t worry dad! zarp is wasting it all on thousand’s of 1 pound-a-game matches at b–by’s local.

mum, why is that boy walking bent?
can’t you see his leg son; it’s bent!