zombie-beard
a combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. it it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. the thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. i’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. there are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) they don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society
2) there are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) they think their gonna be rick grimes from the walking dead or maybe even a daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a eugene
4) they think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
in the end why the h-ll would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. i mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.
yes people like this actually exist
zombie-beard: i’m so ready for the apocalypse i have all my katanas and machine guns!
“chad”: how will you outrun them? you’re 300lbs?
zombie-beard: i won’t run like a coward i’ll kill them all! you ignorant simpleton!
“chad”: whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“chad”: oh sh-t! run!
zombie-beard: *gets eaten* ahhhhh! no! this is not how it turns out in my the walking dead fan-fictions maggie was supposed to leave glenn for a real gentleman like meee!!1!
maggie: who is that guy?
glenn: no idea
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