after school special

a television program airing in the hours immediately after most kids arrive home from school. these programs mostly attempt to teach youngsters about the dangers of premature s-x and illegal drug use. scare tactics and religion-based idealogical brainwashing are commonly used in these programs. while none of these programs discuss the dangers of legal narcotics such as paxil, xanax, zoloft, ritalin, v–gr-, and other dr prescribed drug regimens (because of the fear of losing advertising revenue); safe, salutory, and remedial herbs such as marijuana are demonized due to fervent corporate funding by the oil industry, agricultural companies and the biggest corporation of all..the bible-thumping lunatics of the christian/catholic church. once kids realize that they’ve been lied to about the dangers of marijuana, they then -ssume that they’ve been lied to about other, more dangerous, harder drugs (cigarettes, alcohol, heroin, crystal meth, crack). these programs also tend to make kids and adults feel guilty about s-xual feelings and perpetuate erectile disfuntion and other s-xual problems which ultimatelly manifest into lower self-esteem and other psychological disorders.
roomate: “here, hit this bowl!”
me: “no thanks”
roomate: “come on, you know you want it”
me: “no means no!”
roomate: “p-ssy!”
me: “you’re like watching an after school special… p-ss the bong instead”

or…

actor: “jenny, if we don’t do it, it might fall off.”
actress: “but i’m scared”
actor: “but i love you”
roomate: “turn that f-cking after school special off before i beat you with the remote”
the adolescent act of rushing home after school to look up p-rn and m-st-rb-t- on the singular family computer before the rest of the family returns home.
person a: “want to hang out after school?”
person b: “no way dude, i am heading straight home to try an squeeze in an after school special. my family will be home soon, and we are heading out of town on vacation for the weekend once they arrive. if i don’t rub this one out now, it will be never.”
person a: “you must hurry, go now!”
the act of using a mind altering substance immediatly after a long day at work or school.
lets go have an after school special
a period of unemployment, often in the form of funemployment, directly following one’s graduation from college
the weeks, months, and eventually years following his graduation were filled with binge drinking and loft parties. n-body was sure quite how this after-school special would end.
the act of bringing a person from the other s-x over to one’s house after school with the intent of s-xual relations.
i had jenny over for an after school special yesterday.
smoking buds after school, getting really torn after school
man that blunt we chiefed during that after-school special just made my day all better.
right when you get home from school you go p–p.
“hey isaac your home from school, i guess it’s time for the after school special.”

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