Borger, Texas


about as close to b-mf-ck, egypt as america gets.

borger is a small town roughly 45 miles outside of amarillo, situated in the texas panhandle.

known for it’s hardy, ignorant people and potent stench (a mix of feedlot carryover from other cities in the panhandle and the ungodly stench of a carbon black plant, a fertilizer plant and an oil refinery), borger finds itself caught somewhere between the quaint charm of mayberry in it’s decline, and the horror of silent hill.

the residents are mostly highly prejudiced (particular in regards to race, religion and “them evil demmicrats!”) but put on varying degrees of bland b-n-lity that range from outright batsh-t crazy codger to the sweet old lady who always smiles at you, says hi, and secretly p-sses in every gl-ss of iced tea she gives you.

the only industries thriving in borger are the oil refinery, and of course, the mecca of all civilization in this tiny wasteland, wal-mart. however, borger is so tiny and insignificant, it doesn’t even get a freaking wal-mart super-center.

p-ss through on the road to better places, but do not stop. this town is a vortex that sucks away futures and intelligence.
bob: you ever speak to jody? she has to be the most ignorant redneck i’ve ever met. used the n-word at least a hundred times in the span of five minutes and proceeded to hit me with a bible when i told her i was a gay atheist.

john: what do you expect? that b-tch is from borger, texas.

bob: explains the smell.
a small suburb of amarillo texas, this town is a great example of the “redneck” lifestyle. including bored police, a rundown mainstreet, and a wal-mart, this is any outgoing human’s nightmare.
high school kid: hey i’m going to college

borgan: uhh, what be this cool ige you takin bout. here in borger, texas we don’t do dat kindu stoof

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