Cheese Cancer


a rare condition (about 2 cases every 2 years) of the lymphatic system caused by some of the additives and chemicals used in the production of cheese-like products (i.e. velveta, kraft, american).

typical symptoms include: wearing tight jeans, sitting too close to a monitor, loss of motor skills (i.e. falling), panic attacks, and inability to wake up before 11am.

as of now, there are no known remedies/cures for this type of cancer.
growing up i had velveta and american cheese 3 times a week, and now i have cheese cancer.

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Disclaimer: Cheese Cancer definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.