cobweb crack

oh where to begin…picture this: a hot, humid day…you’re workin up a nice, sticky sweat for hours and hours without a break. you go to bend over or sit and ever so gently you feel this pr-cking tug between your swampy moist b-tt cheeks. you wonder what could it be? a tick? a mosquito? but deep down you know, you know exactly what it is. when you woke at the crack of dawn and did your number in the bathroom, you wiped too hard, using too much toilet paper. this left pills in your sliver which when combined with a hot summer’s day and sweat creates a cobweb crack that pulls and pinches with sudden movements. yes folks, ouch is right. but remember, now that you know you can prevent this from happening. a washcloth and water are useful tools after #2’s. helpful hint: a quick swipe with your finger can snap the web…beware: finger might reek of old p–p and farts.i forgot to mention its the toilet paper that gets stuck to your b-tt hairs and pulls to create the pain.
“ouch, man i just felt a m-ssive pr-ck.” “who you callin pr-ck, johnny?” “no man, in my b-tt crack.” “oh come on, not a again, you got cobweb crack again today?” “my alarm clock didn’t go off again and you’re always early” “i guess you better do the manual snap” “just don’t complain when you get a wiff at lunch when i’m sharin my chips with ya.”