gooey johanson


the name one adopts after inserting his hand into a girl and removing it covered in blood.
hey look, its gooey johanson!!! hahahahahahahaha

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  • missionary fart

    when having s-x in the missionary position for an extended period of time and your sweaty bodies rubbing together makes a farting noise. we were going at it so long. i think we missionary farted more times than she -rg-smed.

  • Half Past Midnight

    the state of being drunk, stoned (aka twisted) and about to fall asleep in the middle of a phone call or texting conversation. this takes place while on a couch or in a bed, mainly before midnight. “hey so what did you think of the party?” “dude, i’m half past midnight i’m gonna…” zzzzz

  • Missionary Jerk

    a s-xual position performed by h-m-s-xuals in which while facing each other (similar to the missionary position performed by a heteros-xual couple) the top partner places his p-n-s in the -n-s of the bottom partner while at the same time the top partner will also m-st-rb-t- the bottom partner. last night jake missionary jerked connor.

  • Mission Accomplished and not in a Bush way

    a way of saying something important has actually been accomplished for real, while at the same time mocking former president george w. bush on may 1,2003 george w bush landed on the deck of the u.s.s. abraham lincoln for a photo-op wearing a flight suit and declared “mission accomplished” in iraq when in fact the […]

  • masturpacing

    the act of pacing the room while masturbating, often characterized by b-mping into furniture the closer you get to climax. usually done late at night by insomniacs and results in a high amount of random bruising. “every night at like 3am we can hear his floorboards squeaking as he walks around. he must be masturpacing.”


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