Jimmy Conrad
the s-xiest and greatest american soocer player of all time. not to mention the greatest center back in the history of the game.
the only trait that exceeds his talent is his beauty and world cl-ss humor and personality.
he currently graces the kansas city wizards of major league soccer with his multifascited being as their tall and strong standing captain.
he is also a media personality often as the strong integral voice of the wizards and major league soccer alike. he leads with the roar of a lion and the grace of a god.
example 1.
idiot: “if jimmy conrad is so good then why isn’t he captaining man u or barcelona or one of the great teams?”
jc fan: “because he’s too good. they couldn’t handle his s-xy manliness or god-like skill.”
example 2.
wizards girl 1: “im gonna have jimmy sign a soccer ball for my nephew.”
wizards girl 2: “oh yeah?! well im gonna have jimmy sign my b–bs. then
im gonna tattoo it on. i can’t wait! i’ve never been touched by a real man before.”
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