lancehole



a “lancehole” (noun, plural “lanceholes”) is a cyclist who hogs the road and refuses to move over, regardless of whether or not he/she is actually meeting the listed speed limit. many lanceholes can be spotted donning their skin-tight, sponsorship-laden shirts and shorts.

an arrogant and unfriendly species, lanceholes are fiercely aggressive -ssholes, often channeling their inner lance armstrong, hence “lancehole”. when threatened, lanceholes commonly resort to threatening fist-shakes and comments, such as “share the road!”.
p-ssenger: “hey man, you know you can speed up, right? you’re doing 15mph in a 30mph zone.”
driver: “sorry, i can’t. this lancehole in front of me won’t move over.”
lancehole: “share the road!”

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