land shark


a s-xual act where a man and his partner stand at opposite ends of the room. the woman bends over and braces against the wall while the man clasps his hands over his head imitating a shark. he then begins humming the jaws theme song and sprints across the room, lead by his erection, and attempts to penetrate either the v-g-n- or -n-s with his momentus impact.
i have to be really drunk to try the land shark, but im usually too inebriated to run in a straight line, so i wake up very sore.
the woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her -ss is lusciously jutting out. (hint: she might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) next, the guy also naked as well as stiff c-cked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to jaws. when given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the -ss.
i landsharked your mom.
noun – someone who bites on or uses a lot of teeth while administering oral s-x to their partner.

verb – the act of getting your d-ck bitten during a bl-w j-b.
n. i know from experience that rebecca is a landshark, she’s always biting on people’s d-cks.

v. my d-ck hurts so much, some beezy landsharked me last night.

a character from the snl line up of back in the day. he’d knock on the door and say a phrase to convince the party on the other side of the door to answer. for example knock knock
“knock knock” (actor on other side of door) “who’s there” the landshark then answers, “pizza man” then the actor on other side of door would open the door and get eaten by the landshark
ultimate frisbee term used to describe a member of the team stripping down to nothing, putting a frisbee up their bottocks, and being carried about by four other players who are themselves sometimes topless. usually done at social gatherings or during tournaments.
“she had no qualms using her brand new frisbee in her landshark”
1.n. an ultimate term used when, at the end of a game, a male drops his pants, lodges a disc in his b-tt-crack, and the team carries him around the field cheering “land shark land shark land shark”

2.v. to become a land shark.
1. “no one wanted to lift the land shark above their heads out of fear that his p-n-s would be flogging them all.”

2. “i swear, if we win this game, i’m gonna land shark.”
n. a male that preys on young drunk girls at bars. known for singling out the drunkest and most vulnerable girls and is excellent at manipulating the situation to take advantage of the woman while they are highly intoxicated.
(while sitting at a bar) “yo, look at the land shark over their prowling after that wasted chick!”

“looks like the land shark has attacked, but it turns out she wasn’t drunk enough for him to succeed.”

“which one of you wants to f-ck this land shark up first for sc-mming up this tavern?”

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