Leeds Vodka
an inexpensive, bowel shaking vodka that one could purchase from shoddy bodegas in several “outer boroughs” of nyc from roughly 2002 to 2007. it had little to no flavor and would cause the following: mental numbness, giddiness, family disunion, long term unemployment, stds (various), debauchery, uncontrollable gagging, sore throat, evil-smelling flatulence, night sweats, day drinking, hives, allergic shock, stillbirth, larceny and bell’s palsy.
oh no! i forgot that the party tonight was byob. i don’t want to spend too much, i don’t want to carry a 12 pack of beer, and i want to get drunk real fast. i know, i’ll pick up a large plastic 5 liter bottle of leeds vodka!
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