porkpie

essentially, to porkpie someone is to ignore them (if intentional) or to simply not notice them.

the etymology of “porkpie” is as follows: in a weak attempt at improvised c-ckney rhyming slang, “porkpied” was used in place of “denied”. that’s it really. it sort of rhymes with denied.

can be used as an interjection, a noun, a verb.. even a way of life, if you’re so inclined – making porkpie a valuable addition to anyone’s vocabulary.

can be abbreviated to ‘pied.

more experienced users of the word have been known to say it with an accompanying gesture – any formation of the hands, which alludes to the view through a cross-section of a porkpie, will do. a plan view of such a porkpie is generally unacceptable, however, and can even be interpreted as an insult in some circles.
j: hey mate, how’s it goin?
m:
j: porkpied!
m: was i porkpieing you?
j: you totally ‘pied me, you b-mmer
m: ok ok, no need to get eggy
a hat
the rude boys all sportin their porkpie caps.
a metaphor for the genitals of a female pensioner. derived from the fact that in the case of both the pork pie and the pensioner’s minge, one must wipe off the crust and lick out the jelly before one reaches the meat.
1. ‘she looked young, but when we got down to business she surprised me with her pork pie’.

2. ‘the crust on her pork pie was so thick that i needed sandpaper to wipe it off, and then there was enough jelly to fill three tins of dog food… then, to top it off, when we finally got down to it, she was so saggy that the effect was akin to throwing a sausage down a hallway’.
an old ladies f-nny: you got to chew through the crust and lick off the jelly to get to the meat. .like a pork pie.
d-ckhead 1: f-ck me she’s fit!
d-ckhead 2: noway! she must be about 70, i bet she’s got a proper pork pie!
d-ckhead 1: . .and? all the more flavour. -licks lips-
something that an unamusing fat person demands their partner for (said in an yourkshire accent)
ross: do you fancy some pork pie
clare: ohhhh yes bab
ross: gud, this time not so much jelly though
clare: oh me pork pie is kicking out a right pong it must be the crust
to have s-x with a girl.
are you gunna pork pie her?
v-g-n-
her porkpie is soo hairy.

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