Runner Guidelines
1. it is important to load up on carbohydrates 2-4 hours before a big run.
try a breakfast of a bagel, a banana (good cramp-crusher), oatmeal, strawberries, and/or some orange juice.
but from now on, eat all of your breakfast runner-style.
liquids are digested faster. so slop it in a blender, and smoothiefy it.
that way, no energy is wasted, and it’s all about the run.
2. don’t forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement.
say to yourself things like:
this is gonna be your best run yet.
you’re going to accomplish all of your goals.
you are a robot sent from the future to win the marathon.
it’s go time.
this will be the performance of a lifetime.
it is on, till the break of dawn!
you are a live wire, a spark plug, a dynamo.
you are unstoppable, unbeatable, untouchable.
you are a relentless driving force.
you are a timeless powerhouse.
you will complete this run, come home, get in your big underpants, and take a nap.
facial feedback and self-spoken support are key factors in fueling those tanks and charging up those batteries.
3. chafing or blisters can occur in a number of areas, including the feet, armpits, and especially the nipple region.
use petroleum jelly on the affected areas. this will relieve any irritated skin.
4. remember the “rest day”. keep it holy.
5. nose running like a waterfall or a faucet? a real gusher? move others away from the spray zone, and snotrocket. total jetstream. just open the floodgates. aim steadily, and fire.
i ran the new york city marathon with helpful tips and pointers provided through the runner guidelines. you should totally check it out. it’s reader recommended!
Read Also:
- First Cunt
for those people who drive as the main part of their working day ‘first c-nt’ is the first time that day that one utters the word ‘c-nt’ out loud in reference to another motorist who has done something inconsiderate, stupid or dangerous. this should happen spontaneously as a natural reaction to the situation presented. the […]
- Devil's Ballsack
so, its july 4, or whatever. instead of having a nice, ch-r-ographed fireworks display, you take all of the fireworks and throw them into a raging bonfire all at once, and start running. this is the devil’s b-llsack. running through the forest dodging flaming b-lls, explosions, jets of fire, etc., it would be appropriate to […]
- 90's blow job
blowing in an snes cartridge to fix the game. alex: dude, my majora’s mask copy won’t work. michael: try giving it a 90’s bl-w j-b
- Horse Chestnut
the act of -j-c-l-t-ng on someones chest, while they “neigh” like a horse. “yo broseph, what did you do with that girl last night?” “i gave her a horse chestnut bruh!”
- Don't know how to act
when something (an environment or event) gets you so excited that you do something outrageous in reaction. origin is possibly from the flo rida song of the same name. “look at you – first 50 degree day after winter and you aren’t wearing a jacket – you don’t know how to act…”