School Safety
n. an elementary school student designated by school faculty to monitor halls in between any of the following:
cl-ss and lunch
lunch and cl-ss
lunch and recess
recess and lunch
recess and cl-ss
cl-ss and recess
the point of the safety program is to maintain a sense of control. children are thought to behave themselves when they know a goody-goody safety is watching. they are aware that the “safety” will completely taddle their little pants off without thinking twice or give a written warning.
what distinguishes the “safety” from other students is a band of fluorescent, orange plastic which wraps around the waist and diagonally across the chest. a silver or gold badge of some sort is pinned to the band draped across the chest. these badges are of different colors to show rank.
the job of a school safety is to make sure the other students are behaving whenever adults aren’t looking.
school safety: please walk
student: sorry!
(student whispers to cl-ssmate)
student: that safety better not tell our teacher i was running!
cl-ssmate: what a nerd… nark!!
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