Shapping
the act of masturbation while simultaneously taking a sh-t.
leroy, you’ve been in there for 20 minutes. what, are you shapping?
“to shapp, verb: to attempt to sanitise one’s online image, often in an urgent and/or hasty manner.”
derived from the checkered internet history of british politician grant shapps. while serving as a member of parliament, he did business online as an internet marketing / sales guru named michael green. when the press found out, shapps’ sites began disappearing overnight. guardian columnist george monbiot ran a contest via twitter to define the verb “to shapp.” this contest was won by twitterer rainbow_meow with the above definition.
“i’ve been shortlisted for a job interview – got some major shapping to do tonight!”
“as it turns out, what happens at the donkey sanctuary doesn’t stay at the donkey sanctuary. time to shapp.”
to use an app to help you go shopping.
“i found a really great deal when i was out shapping today!”
“oh my g-d, i´ve been shapping so much that my fingers are soar!”
“mom, seriously! i can´t talk right now.. why?? i´m shapping off course!”
“dude! i just found a really cool store you need to check out! i discovered it when i was out shapping and it´s totally awesome!”
“hey! you got any plans or you wanna go shapping?.. h-ll yeah! meet you in half an hour”
“sorry, i can´t come to work today.. i´m going shapping.”
wasting time in the app store on an iphone, downloading mostly pointless apps. usually resulting in a large bill.
dude 1: what you do sunday?
dude 2: had a w-nk then wasted the rest of the day shapping.
dude 1: anything good?
dude 2: no.
masturbating in the shower.
best thing ever: a good morning shapping
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