an exceptionally fluffy rat who believes itself to be a cat.
the shnoozums, while being a member of the rodent family, is equipped with defense mechanisms such as retractable claws, sharp fangs, and a keen intellect. the shnoozums’ diet is primarily composed of fresh water fish, smaller animals, and insects that can be found in the tuscan country side where the species originated. over time, fine cheeses and cuisine produced by the italian people began to attract the wild shnoozums’. eventually shnoozums’ found their way into the homes of the italian people. it has been said by the italians that once there’s a shnoozums in the house there’s no getting rid of it. see also shnoozadook. while first seen as a nuisance, the people of tuscany and surrounding areas began to accept the shnoozums’ as a part of their society and a useful companion for eliminating crop destroying insects and smaller disease spreading rodents. this mutually beneficial inter-species relationship led to a spike in the population of shnoozums’. long, soft hair, and cuteness became desired traits, and over years of evolution and selective breeding only the cutest, fluffiest shnoozums’ genetics were p-ssed down to the generations we see today. in modern society the shnoozums’ population has exploded and have been exported all over the world. today the shnoozums’ have evolved into several breeds, some of which are commonly confused for genuine cats.
shnoozums the rat thinks she’s a cat.
scientific name: rattus shnoozumus
several species of shnoozums exist today. the rare, highly sought after “shnoozadook” is thought to be the most cat-like of the shnoozums. they are also by far the most intelligent, learning how to mimic genuine cats by meowing, and making a noise that sounds similar to purring, but is anatomically a completely different process. it is true that once a shnoozums chooses your dwelling there’s no getting rid of it. shnoozums were once hunters that took care of insects and smaller rodents but today are known for their incredibly refined pallets. after domestication the shnoozums grew accustomed to eating cooked foods and are famous for their insatiable appet-te for fine cheeses and exotic seafood dishes. eating these cooked foods (particularly seafood) can account for the development of higher intelligence in the species.
that rat is exceptionally fluffy, i think its a shnoozums
all the cheese is gone, i think there’s a shnoozums in the apartment.
girlfriend- “there’s a shnoozums in the bas-m-nt. try to lure it out with some pan seared tilapia and locatelli romano.”
boyfriend- “already tried, there’s no use. once you have a shnoozums there’s no getting rid of it.”
girlfriend-“ahh this one must be a shnoozadook”
upon bringing my “cat” to the vet, a fecal sample revealed that it was in fact a shnoozums.
1, (n.) a dangerous or dirty slum area of sacramento. 2, (adj.) a resident of sacramento who acts sl-tty or nasty. 3, (adj.) a jury rigged repair performed by a sacramento resident 1, don’t go down that street, it leads to the heart of sacraghetto 2, look at that girl with all the tats, she’s […]
a nickname for portland, oregon, based on the number of bridges within city limits (twelve, including two that prohibit cars) that cross the willamette river, which bisects the city. welcome to bridgetown; you can take the burnside, morrison or hawthorne to get downtown from your neighborhood.
- onion bush
a girl’s sn-tch that overly reeks of onions this girl’s onion bush smelt so bad last night it cleared out the entire d-mn bar
- push that sh*t out
when a rap producer and/ or pimp wants his bottom b-tch to spit a song on the floor with p-ssion yo, last night sha-kee-nah really push that sh-t out at the studio yo
- laying grout
the act of having a degenerate female lie naked on a cement floor (usually garage or bas-m-nt) while pressing her br–sts together. one or multiple men then proceed to squat-shuffle over her while defecating. the bead of feces is implied to be the “grout” and the br–sts symbolize tile or other masonry medium to which […]