Stony Plain
the sh-ttiest little h-ll hole of a town. 30 minutes out of edmonton. major town attractions are “farmers day” (once a year, “fairgrounds” (as in 4 rides) are set up with a rodeo) and the bountiful amounts of stoners and meth heads. also memorable because of the ugly murals painted over every second building, including the old, rundown high school: memorial composite, which had so much property damage, it was cheaper to just build a new school.
1. “want to get really stinking drunk and go on the only four rides at the farmers days carnival?” “oh man, do we have to visit stony plain again?” “there’ll be lots of meth!” “yehaw.” -puts on cowboy hat-
2. “wow, this building looks like an insane asylum.” “oh yeah, it’s the stony plain high school”.
3. “oh look at this cute little town” “don’t! that’s stony plain.” -meth head jumps on roof of slowed vehicle- “now you’ve done it!”
place. canadian “city” solidly cemented to edmonton’s rock-strewn flank . devoid of pretensions, quarries and night life, stony plain has been poised to be “the next big thing” in upper west central alberta for over 125 years. churches, bingo halls, outdoor tractor pulls, indoor gravel -ssessment bazaars, and a squeegee factory slated for opening in 2014, are all bringing unwanted attention to the area which is quietly trying to slide into the yielding topsoil.
hockey, soccer and table tennis are all sports watched on tv in stony plain where hbo is just a dream.
…………………………………………………………………………..
no community hosts a slo-pitch tournament like stony plain.
well there’s something to be thankful for.
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