technolojesus

“as the legend goes, jesus once encountered the borg. the borg attacked him, he turned the other cheek, and the borg promptly sedated him. when he woke up, he had been -ssimilated. his new found fusion with the complex technology of the borg was not something he rejected – he rejoiced. he swayed the borg to be peaceful while he downloaded all the coolest new apps. he taught the borg to meditate on comp-ssion while he traded stocks from his iphone. he cured the deaf among the borg and gave them hands-free bluetooth ear pieces. he even showed them tranquility and sent them the most elite tracker invitations.”

“continually, he led them to enlightenment and free p-rn, but they were not satisfied. a glitch named judas caused the borg to attack jesus. they soldered him to a steel wall. though in his final moments he became entranced, marveling at visions of bleeding edge technology, he faded. as his last breath left his body, his netbook dropped from his hands and he died. three days later he just kinda woke up. he rose into the air – floating, wrapped in a buzzword cloud widget. his gaze fell upon them as he ventured to speak, but nay, words did not come – only the most beautiful ringtone fluttered gaily from his lips and echoed throughout the cold halls of the cube. with that, the borg bowed low and he vanished.”

– the term technolojesus is now used widely as a t-tle for anyone skilled with computers or electronics who also happens to be a comp-ssionate bad-ss with mad wisdom.
bro, the other day this technolojesus came through and recovered my brazillian fart-p-rn off my hard drive – i thought it was fragged, but this dude saved my life.
he/she being the creator/inventor of all technology
lastnight i prayed to technolojesus to fix the virus in my computer.