The IMPEDE Continuum


a theory which states that a universe is created from sheer awesomeness and the awesomeness which creates a universe radiates from someone with sheer awesomeness. the awesomeness obstructs any other force which can potentially create life or the like – hence, it is called the “impede continuum”. (fyi, if you don’t know, impede means to obstruct.) in other words, awesomeness created the universe and everything else was created by china. awesome right?
person 1: guess what?
person 2: what?
person 1: totally did something awesome.
person 2: and that was…?
person 1: i created this theory about how awesomeness can create a universe. i called it “the impede continuum”

person 1: awesome right?
person 2: awesome….

person 2: i wonder what kind of universe just got created…

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