The Italian Birthday
when you go to an upscale restaurant in a major city with a strict dress code (the kind of place that lends out a jacket to the sap that forgot his at home) without a jacket, a ridiculously colored pair of pants, and an obnoxious bow tie or better yet in shorts, flip flops and no tie, either way with your sleeves rolled up. you then manage somehow to be seated against the establishment’s policies. shortly thereafter you are sung happy birthday in italian by a portly employee. for additional fun, go to the bathroom all the way across the restaurant in your shorts, thereby giving everyone a second look at your audacity.
guy 1: she didn’t tell me the place would be so fancy. i was insanely underdressed.
guy 2: so, what’d you do?
guy 1: what any man would do. i went in there, met her dad and brother, and pulled the italian birthday.
guy 2: how’d that turn out?
guy 1: oh they hate me, but it was funny as h-ll.
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