University of Miami


the only place in the world where a hairy jewish kid will get laid by a supermodel.
“(giggle) look, bobby goldman’s yarmulke is the same color as his bentley- how stylish!”
quite possibly the world’s most -ss-kickingest university. beautiful women, gorgeous campus, elite-level academics, and better sports teams than any other college. ever. anywhere. if god came fown from heaven to create an american university, it would be um.
brenda: so, like, um, i’m going to harvard next year.

sasha: have fun freezing year -ss off with new england wasps. i’ll be chillin’ at the university of miami.
the college you wish you went to, the college you wish you could fit in with, the college where the students don’t freeze thier -sses off because they are at the beach. the college that takes partying to a whole new level of its own. where the weather is hot and the people even hotter; what could be better than the university of miami??
guy1: d-mn i hooked up with this fine -ss girl last night from university of miami

guy2: no way man…those girls are hot!

guy1: i know, i love me some miami girls!

the most -ss kicking university in the country where the hotter it gets the better. home of the miami hurricanes where all great nfl stars come from. the only football team tim tebow fears!
tim tebow: yo im scared of next weeks game.

other florida deuche: why?

tim tebow: were playing the university of miami hurricanes

javarris james: d-mn right b-tch!
quite simply the best university in the history of the universe. we are the u. we dominate in sports, academics and of course, looks. oh and we are “the #1 party school” according to playboy. sure, you can talk sh-t, but we’re making ranks while we party hard…51st in the nation? numbers don’t lie. what more can you ask for in a school? go hurricanes!
fsu seminole: “wait, you go to the university of miami?”
um cane: “yeahhhh b-tch, i go to the #1 party school…”
fsu seminole: “fml…i need to transfer or die.”
a drughouse or meeting place for druggies and convicts. underwent suspension after the drughouse was raided
what do you call a drug ring at the university of miami? a huddle
a college 120 years younger than miami university in oxford, ohio…

miami of ohio was a university when florida belonged to spain
yo bro! maybe they should name it the university of miami florida.

wait a second… univ. of miami florida’s president is a miami univ. (ohio) alum!!!

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