Valentine’s Day Tree
a tree one displays in one’s living room in the middle of february. generally, very similar to a christmas tree, but much drier. ideally decorated with small scr-ps of tinsel, but having a complete set of christmas ornaments is acceptable. an alternate method of display is to lay it on its side in the front yard.
the proper method of celebrating a valentine’s day tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.
a 4th of july tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
“welcome to my place. uh, please ignore the valentine’s day tree. it won’t mind”
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