waffle house

a kick -ss 24 hour place to get waffles. popular in the dirty south
it’s 3 am and i gots the munchies, lets h-t the waffle house
1. a 24-hour dive with underpaid waitresses, cl-ssically bad juke box music, bathrooms a la truckstop, and food that no respectable arteries woulc bear.
2. the only place to go– besides wal-mart– after 11pm in arkadelphia, arkansas and similiar ends of the world
waffle house coffee is crack in motor oil form.
sketchy sketchy restuarant that is defined by it’s sketchiness. has a certain culture about it: “great” coffee, hasbrowns scattered and smothered, and the cl-ssic waffle. frequently visited in the middle of the night by drunk and/or high college students.
“what is there to do at 2 am around here? let’s go to waffle house!”
the only reason to go to disney world. an exact opposite of the magic kingdom and a lot more enjoyable.
if we aren’t stopping at every waffle house, on the way you can forget the magic kingdom .
to be left in bed with covers that equal the size of a waffle house napkin.
d-mn, last night holly rolled all the covers up around her and left me with nothing almost, she waffle housed me.
the poor man’s ihop. an interesting place for a first date. the only place you could imagine going if your drunk/high and it’s 2 a.m. you almost always see someone you know at the waffle house (three of the last four times i went i saw people i knew). the waitresses at waffle house are way better than the ones at hooters.
one time we went to waffle house (in the middle of the night, when else) and this limo pulled up and 4 girls got out in prom dresses and went in and ordered food. this seemed like something fat chicks who didn’t have dates to prom would do see we decided to go up to the window make faces and do the thing where spiderman shoots web out of his hand. they flicked us off and we left.

the only waiter i’ve ever seen working there was walking by our booth which was right by the grills, and i was talking with some friends about people we knew back in middle school that had f-cked up their lives at an early age. so the guy just stops at our table and asks us, “did i hear you guys talking about jamming?” we weren’t, but i decided to say yes, and he decided to tell us about his days in a “progressive rock band”. then he told us how he played b-ss and was just working at waffle house until he could “get his sh-t together and find a new band.” he asked us if we might want to “jam” with him sometime. we were all about 20 and he looked like a 35 year-old former member of r.e.m. so it had gotten too weird and we asked for the check.

next time we went the rem guy from above was still working there. he recognized us and we talked a little. my boy chuck didn’t have any money so he took out a loan from jim and ordered a waffle for himself. jim was at the adjacent booth because we had a group of 6. jim didn’t get the memo and ordered two waffles. the waffles arrived and “no-money no problems” chuck had two waffles, which he gobbled up. he then ordered yet another waffle, even though he didn’t have any money. he gobbled that one up, and jim got p-ssed when he found out chuck ate three waffles (which totalled to around $10 with tax and tip). the waiter guy came back around and saw that chuck ate all the waffles and decided to start saying, in a very elevated voice, “waffle fiend”. i about sh-t my pants at how big a dumb-ss the waiter was. then he brought the check and gave chuck a paper hat that said waffle house on the side. we always make fun of chuck because his head is huge (roughly the size of a watermelon). well he puts the hat on and it rips when he tries to get it to fit.

that’s all 100% true just go to waffle house and crazy sh-t will happen.
a cr-ppy diner where you can buy food or meth at 3 a.m.
john: take me to the hospital, i just got stabbed outside the waffle house!

scott: that sucks dude.