Almont


a small town in the thumb of michigan that has a population made up of rednecks, wh-r-s, attention wh-r-s, douche bags, rednecks, and only a small population of decent people… did i mention rednecks? there is absolutely nothing to do in this town, and you will for sure regret moving here. the drama is insanely ignorant, mostly between the attention wh-r-s and the just plain wh-r-s.

rednecks- usually guys who live in the almont trailer park and drive a beaten up, rusted, dented old chevy or ford truck and think they’re the sh-t. they also eat racc–n for dinner.

wh-r-s- do i have to explain? they’re probably the worst breed of almontians except attention wh-r-s.

attention wh-r-s- girls who go around creating all the f-cked up ignorant drama in this town. usually start it on facebook or mysp-ce. usually post pictures on facebook saying how ugly they are for attention. also, are frequent partic-p-tors in the dreaded “duckface.”

douchebags- usually guys who think they’re “hood” when in reality, they live in the subburbs of almont with their parents.

decent people- if you find one of these people in almont, keep them. they’re very rare.
person: where are you from?
almontian: almont!
person: get. out. of. my. presence.
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a small town in michigan that n-body gives a sh-t about and it’s out in the sticks’ where there’s barely civilization and they’re favorite s-xual partners are their siblings or cousins.
they have to p-ss over m-53 highway just to get to the mall.
they party in run down shacks/barns example of one they call the ‘man cave’,the girls are either anorexic with nasty scene hair or fat and have pink hair.
the dudes are either hick as can be, or straight stoned stupid. they like coming down to the city, usually around partridge creek/lakeside mall to attempt to pick up chicks. or for the some that actually own computers, they prefer to try spittin’ game online. the girls are very insecure, and obviously no one wants their boyfriends so they can straight up defensive over nothing. no one there really cares about the town of almont.they are all disgusting.
the boys have very small p-n-ses when erected .
and most of the girls resemble roadkill.

incest b-tches much? haha
boy: ‘ay cutie how ya’ doin’ todaay
girl:good, are you from tennessee with that accent?
boy: nah sugaplum i’m from almont.
girl:oh okay so you fingerbang your sister , and your mother cooks racc–n for thanksgiving.
boy:yessssiiiiiiiiirrrrreeeeeeeeeeee

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