ballooncock
a crime perpetrated on a man who is sleeping outdoors. first a helium-filled balloon is attached to the man’s p-n-s, then the p-n-s is severed at its base. the unfortunate victim awakens shortly afterwards to experience pain, blood-loss, and the heart-breaking sight of his pride-and-joy floating away, never to be seen again.
lady astor: “if i were your wife, sir, i would balloonc-ck you as you slept.”
winston churchill: “if i were your husband, i wouldn’t want to keep it anyway.”
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