Being White

i’m a lucky guy, i got a lot going for me. i’m healthy, i’m relatively young, i’m white, which, thank god for that sh-t, boy. that is a huge step up. oh, god, i love being white, i really do. seriously, if you’re not white, you’re missing out.

and let me be clear about it by the way. i’m not saying that white people are better. i’m saying that being white, is clearly better..

here’s how great it is to be white… i could get in a time machine, and go to any time, and it would be f-cking awesome when i get there. that is exclusively a white privilege. black people can’t f-ck with time machines.. a black guy with a time machine is like, “hey.. anything before 1980, no thank you, i don’t wanna go.”

i could go to any time.. i could go to the year 2, i don’t even know what’s happening then.. but i know when i get there, “welcome we have a table right here for you sir”

i could go to any time.. in the past, i don’t wanna go to the future and find out what happens to white people, because, we’re gonna pay hard for this sh-t, you gotta know that. we’re not just gonna fall from #1 to 2… they’re gonna hold us down and f-ck us in the -ss forever. and we totally deserve it, but for now… weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

you can’t even hurt my feelings. what can you really call a white man that really digs deep?

“hey, cracker!”
“aww, ruined my day.. bringin me back to owning land.. and people. what a drag.”

p.s. i’m not racist
being white, well.. f-ck, this sh-t is thoroughly good.

if you’re white and don’t admit that it’s great, you’re an -sshole.

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