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bizznass

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• aborting coitus

  an exlamatory phrase used by the male individual prior to s-x after surrept-tiously sniffing his fingers which have swabbed the v-g-n- of his potential mate. benjamin pushed his index finger deeply into the prost-tute’s v-g-n-, and while she wasn’t looking, sniffed it. it smelled like rotten fish and old cheese, so he screamed ‘aborting coitus’ […]

• woodnut

  a hardened piece of leftover p–p that is stuck on the hairs around an -n-s. the woodnuts on my dog’s bottom are left behind when he scoots on the carpet.

• flaming cum

  while you pull a flaming c-ck you c-m into the gl-ss and make someone else drink it. dude, i totally made steve drink my flaming c-m yesterday.

• Mug pockets

  pockets deep enough for cash, drugs, or guns we don’t wear skinny jeans around here, we got mug pockets.

• Arachnaberries

  the fuzzy egg casings left by spiders that are found whenever furniture is moved. most often discovered when your hand touches one as you pick up the furniture as an arachnaphobe it is always troubling to move furniture and be confronted with having to touch or sweep away the arachnaberries that have been left behind […]

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