Carphoneitus


early 21st century slang. a perpetual moron who is unable to remove his/her mobile phone from their face whilst driving.
carphoneitus is a phenomenon that effects up to three quarters of the world’s driving population. the cause of this r-t-rded mentality is debatable; some think it’s linked to a prep-b-scent h-m-s-xual infatuation with a member of the same family, while others simply believe it’s attributed to a childhood fear of home computers and the test card. one thing is undisputed however and that is 90% of offenders are actually not talking to anybody, whilst they’re driving, they’re just pretending to, as they have no real friends.

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