Chicago Style Pizza

the finest, most delicious and awesome pizza ever to come out of an oven. chicago-style pizza is a deep-dish pizza style developed in chicago by the first italian immigrants (other things developed by the same people were the mafia and the wifebeater). true chicago-style pizza features a b-ttery crust (which can only be made here cuz of the water), ample amounts of cheese and chunky tomato sauce. the top producers of this pizza are:
lou malnatti’s
giordano’s
gino’s east
uno & due
bacino’s
rannalli’s
ricobene’s

some people might say that they like ny stlye pizza better. but only to know for yourself is to actually go both places and eat pizza there. going to the “chicago-style” and “new-york-style” pizzerias in your lil b-mkin town and comparing the 2 doesn’t actually count.

(chicago also has many pizzerias serving thin-crust pizzas for some of you p-ss-es who can’t handle the truth, some of which are in a style unique to the windy city, but as a term chicago-style pizza generally refers to deep-dish styles.
the first thing i do when i hit chicago is get some p-ssy, then get some chicago style pizza!!
sometimes called deep-dish or pan pizza, an excellent type of pizza originating in chicago in the early 1940s. now often misdescribed as “thick crust”, the pizza generally has a thin or medium crust made of flour and cornmeal, upon which is laid a thick layer of cheese, with tomato sauce or crushed tomatoes on top. it is available all over the world, although the authenticity is questionable outside of chicago.

interestingly, many prominent chicagoland pizzerias serve only thin pizza (i.e. not chicago-style) which is also very popular if not moreso among chicagoans. some area pizza parlors offer both styles, apparently to cater to out-of-town rubes who want to try chicago-style.
“i ate a chicago-style pizza in london and my -n-s hasn’t been right since.”

“my grandfather ate chicago-style pizza at pizzeria uno in 1945. he is dead now.”
an overrated loaf of bread with a sludge and grease in the middle. better cl-ssified as a quiche.
one chicago style pizza will feed a pond of ducks for a year.
a thoroughly disgusting, usually undercooked “italian” style pie, hailing from the armpit of america… the city of chicago illinois. the entire pie weighs close to 46 lbs on average, and is overladen with acidic canned tomatoes and tomato paste in order to overpower the bitter taste of various grease and oils within the pie itself. often filled with more gluttoning ingredients such as ground up pig innerds, or spicy red pig shavings. usually eaten at every meal by the “gourmets” of chicago, from the fattest women to even the meagerest metros-xual playboy.
i ate an entire chicago-style pizza and later threw up all over my wife’s hairy back.