chive

i) a web-based platform in which millenial hipsters (that are dependant upon digital communication) use as an -sset to promote s-x appeal & comical adolescent behavior. initially a somewhat scrutinized (for hoaxes) e-tabloid blog, the website owned & maintained by resignation, llc. is also responsible for a charity organization of the same name.
ii) a member of the onion family, noted for it’s use as a condiment or garnish in a variety of cuisines.
i) “as a chivette, obviously my homepage is the chive”
ii) a baked potato is typically topped with sour cream, bacon bits & chives.
the chive is just a way of life for the greatest community of misfits, hooligans, and s-xy creatures to ever -ssemble. so when we say chive on, it means we support our troops and all first responders. it’s about working hard and playing harder. it’s about paying it forward through random acs of kindness. it’s about coming through for the chive charities and supporting one another through humor and optimism. it’s about not giving a f-ck while giving the most f-cks. we know how to tell a joke and how to take one. we’re note legion, we’re legend. we don’t wear masks, we wear the best tee’s to ever be sold. oh, and it’s just a website with a sh-t-ton of entertaining pictures and videos; mostly b–bs, bacon, adorable cats and bill f-cking murray
chive on
referred to as the chive. a visual, verbal or other means of overtly being stupid in order to gain the attention and acceptance of the opposite s-x. this is often seen in males who perform acts of stupidity and loud, brash actions to gain the interest of a lady. women can be seen doing the chive by wearing ugly clothes, giant sungl-sses and acting stupid to make guys think they are cute. this definition can be heard in detail on various podcasts (my remote radio, podocalypse and others)
what the heck are you friends doing? they’re acting like -ssholes.

scott and benny are doing the chive because those cute girls are at the bar.
an awkwardly skinny average height young fellow with an “i don’t really give a sh-t” att-tude. also known to have long unwashed hair. chives do what they want, when they want. they also don’t have their license for they depend on others for rides around. the chive loves to smoke pot and will never turn down an opportunity to light one up. don’t get the chive angry, for he is a ticking time bomb.
evan dude, you’re such a chive.
a s-xually transmitted disease. symptoms include: delelopment of itchy b-mps in the genital area, odd smells emiting from genital area, and occasional phish music eminating from the mouth and genital area. no known cure.
the dude: aw man, that sucks that you got chives? who gave it to you?
the man: that dead head at the club… she was hawt
a creepy butler dude who will hang outside your window. a potential stalker and killer.

-does not have to be a butler. could also be: unwanted male, cat, murderer, doctor, therapist, etc.
“so jen, has chives been around your window lately”
n. chive
the result of being chiffed
a slap/smack on the side of one’s head
i recieved an awful chive from my mom when i left my dirty dishes in the sink.
chives and all that good stuff!
customer: hi, i noticed on your menu you have the baked potato with chives. what are chives?

waiter: oh well, ya know.. its just chives and all that good stuff!

customer: why, thank you, very descriptive!!