cliodhna

clíodhna in irish myths is a goddess of love and beauty, she leaves the island of tir tairngire aka the land of promise to be with her mortal lover, ciabhán, but drowns as she sleeps in glandore harbour in county cork: the tide there is known as tonn chlíodhna aka clíodhna’s wave.. cliodhna is lethal craic and can be found living mostly on the island of ireland where she is admired for her legendary ways and breathtaking beauty. 😉
well cliodhna, whats the craic?
often refered to as a cliodhnabeast, a cleaner of the best kind. an extremely hairy h-m-sepian, an inappropriate girl who often implies your mother is a llama. caution should be taken around them unless one is prepared to be an endangered species. may often charge you for their heavy breathing/snoring which is often constant and unforgiving, never wears the appropriate attire to any occasion. smokes like chimney. swears like a sailor during rape. has mastered the skill of speech but not quite grasped the skill of conversation. may try and steal your family. questionable dietry choices, may include small children, orange foods, tea, jam and soup. terrible choice in s-xual orientation. may on occ-ssion lunge for you yielding muscular biceps resulting in your toppeling in shrubbery. should not be allowed near society or the animal kingdom. needs a pg13 warning on most good days never to be asked where her manners are unless prepared for profanities of the wildest cliodhna kind. her scout’s honour should never be questioned as it is unfaltering and true although is never to be asked about her opinions of a jamboree should not be allowed to leave the country as a cliodhna will insult and offend everything and everyone in sight.

if you own a cliodhna, it should be securely caged, fed at appropriate times and permitted to sleep atleast 13 hours a day. if you don’t i recommend you get one for as crazy as one may be it is a little be vital in your life if anything for comic relief.
1.) “here cliodhna i’ve bought you a present!”
*cliodhna beast pushes you into hedge*
“cliodhna, where are your manners?!”
“round the corner picking sh-t out of a ditch.”
*facepalm*

2.) “let us observe the cliodhna beast in it’s natural habitat as it feasts upon it’s prey the modern day toddler.”
cliodhna is a fine specimen of the human race. she is an intelligent intellectual. she tends to call many people “n-gg-” and “homie” she is new to the concept of love and has encountered it on a few occasions and one of those her lover looked like fern from phineas and ferb. the tend to die alone with 50 cats
ohmygod cliodhna that’s soooooo cheeky