College Resume Whore
this is a term for a kid in high school who will do pretty much any charitable act or good deed just so it appears on his or her resume and may boost his or her chances of getting into the college of their choice. the college of their choice is usually ivy league and the typical college resume wh-r- is someone who’s mother still packs their lunches and who says they can be anything they want to be – as long as they get into a top school.
to be a true college resume wh-r- (or crw) the person must be doing the volunteering and good deeds for the sole purpose of loading up their resumes so that colleges will think they are a saint and accept them. if someone is volunteering just because they enjoy volunteering they are not crws, they are a cl-ssic nerd or just a genuinely good person.
college resume wh-r-: yes! i’ve been accepted to mit, i guess volunteering all those hours slopping food onto old people’s plates at the retirement home was worth it to seal this deal!
volunteer recruiter: ok, so this volunteer work requires you to wipe all the brown stains that the washing machines won’t take out of these kid’s underwear. once you’ve done that you can read them stories until their parent’s pick them up from daycare. the parent’s should be arriving in five hours, i hope you like dr. seus!
college resume wh-r-: shiiit, this better get me into that ivy league school! i will not take going to a state school, ivy league school’s just sound better, i must go there at all costs!!!
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