conor devlin
conor devlin is a large, hairy creature often found lurking around the pubs of alton. time has taken its toll on this poor fellow, you can tell this by looking at the wifts of gray in the slowly but sh-r-ly thinning black hair, and the sagging lumps on the chest refured to as ‘moobs’. the ungodly being is known to have an incurable disfunction in his vocal and physical reactions, otherwise known as ‘a spastic’. you can not miss this catastrophic view from a mile away due to the obviously large head that is believed to be a signiture to all of its kind. (e.g any siblings it might have) one last, but important thing, if you are unlucky enough to come into contact with the conor, stay well clear of his rear p-ssage, as toxic g-sses of deadly copasity have been known to steal the oxygen right out of the victim, and any unfortunate p-ssers by. good luck.
i saw an unsightly creature on monday, i believe it was a ‘conor devlin’ and as i walked behind it to avoid eye contact, it turned towards me, raised an eye brow and looked to be straining and confused, then all of a sudden an overpowering smell crawled down my throut and stole the oxygen right out of my lungs. i woke up with nothing but the memorie of this horrible day.
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