Dick in a Jar


a male platonic companion that a young, attractive woman keeps around to feel better about herself. the d-ck in a jar is stable, friendly, sensitive and nonthreatening. he is infatuated with her, but she sees him as a brother — a brother with whom she cuddles while watching movies and complaining about the latest alpha male to break her heart. the d-ck in a jar secretly awaits his female companion’s revelation that emotionally abusive f-cktards will never make her happy and that he is actually the man of her dreams, but he waits in vain.
mark: so, what’s up with your roommate and that dorky guy who always spends the night? are they b-mpin’ uglies?

shauna: naah, he’s just her d-ck in a jar.
when a male is completely controlled by his girlfriend/woman/significant other, and constantly bails on his friends to be with her.
person 1: dude, marco is being such a d-ck in a jar. i haven’t seen him in months.

person 2: what the f-ck is a d-ck in a jar?

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