Disidariat


diss-ee-day-ree-at (n.) a disease, its presence is revealed by the phenomenal—and nearly invisible—occurrence in which the left t-st-cl- completely knits with and consumes the right t-st-cl-, and then travels to the brain as a large ball-knot, making the host of this parasitic, viral bacteria a mindless killer.

it is, in fact, a very common happening, but takes place—usually— in caucasian males between the ages of 15 and 65. there is no cure yet.

last month, in fact, i began noticing signs of the disease within myself. i theoretically only have five more days left before i completely lose myself to this affliction. please tell my children i love them—if i don’t kill them first…
it was sad the day the disidariat took over my fifth cousin twice-removed. a sad day indeed.

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