egyptian garvey

when 10 large egyptian men form a circle jerk around a woman in a sphinx costume, and one by one they nut in her eyes, ear c-n-ls, and nostrils. shortly after, the men take the woman to the top of one of their pyramids and sacrifice her toes to the egyptian s-m-n god by cutting them off and each eating one of the toes. once the toes have been severed, the two eldest men get to eat the big toes to prevent any arguments among them of who will get the honor of eating the big toes. after this, they perform the ceremony where they turn a young boy into a man. they get the boy from the village who most recently reached the age of twelve to ride on the woman’s back all the way down the pyramid. if the boy doesn’t fall off while riding down the pyramid, he is transformed into a man. although if the boy falls off at any point of the ride, he is fed to the camels. at this point, the woman is dead. they harvest her kidney to sell on the black market if it is not too damaged. then they cook the woman to make stew for the village. this process is repeated weekly to feed the hungry villagers
“it’s about that time again for the next egyptian garvey.” “yeah, i heard ma’nakhtuf gets the chance to become a man. he’s growing up so fast, but we shall soon see if he is a true man like his father rehu-erdjersenb.”